i am a lush

a word of warning: if you are a light weight, do not go to any restaurant or bar that is located less than a block from Nieman Marcus.

i was the unfortunate victim of such circumstances this past saturday.

actually i knew full well that i'm a light weight and couldn't soberly handle a razzmapolitan. or Nieman Marcus for that matter. I mean, i get The Book every couple of months and can rationalize the ten-thousand-dollar price on some of those dresses.

i went downtown with my friend J to see a recital of one of her friends. after the recital (he played the euphonium or something like that and also a jazz ensemble played), we went to "go play downtown" in her words. this involved people watching while walking up michigan avenue and popping into the occasional coach or cartier or tiffany's. then we got hungry, so we went to this italian restaurant that happened to be the first one we saw after we started looking. and it also happened to be in the same block as Nieman Marcus.

so we had our pizza and with the pizza we ordered "razzmapolitans" (raspberry version of a cosmo). yes it was three in the afternoon but it was a saturday and we had arrived downtown on the train. why not? they were delicious. anyway poor J waited for me to finish mine (i'm slow at eating, drinking, and a lot of things), then we flirted with the waiter for a bit, then i held on tight to the handrail as i walked down the stairs (our table was on the 2nd floor) and out onto the street.

the NM door was on the same side as the restaurant! and it was spinning. not only because i was tipsy, it was also a revolving door (hahaha snort). we had to walk not more than twenty feet. J said, aw let's just go look, and i was silly so of course i agreed. while looking at expensive cosmetics and jewelry and rich women with sadly nothing to do but spend money, i philosophised about this (i would shoot myself if that's all i ever did) as i smiled and followed J through the handbags section. somehow we ended up on the escalator and were headed up for the shoes. i don't remember if she suggested it or if our trip to NM naturally went in that direction. but somehow we ended up at shoes. just like in buenos aires, anytime i had a little too much vino tinto i'd have problems remembering exactly how i got home the night before.

the pumas caught my eye. probably the least expensive pair of shoes in the store. but they're really cute, they match almost anything in my wardrobe (they are dark brown suede with pink thingys - i don't know what they're called, the puma lines that run along the side of the shoe - what does one call them?). of course, i asked to try them on and they were comfortable and small and thin and feminine and they also reminded me of my cross country spikes. so i decided to buy them. purchasing something at NM is really fun if you already have an account with them. i didn't have the card with me, so the man who helped me took my driver's license and my phone number, and came back ten minutes later with my shoes in the lovely NM bag and the receipt on a little silver tray for me to sign (ok, that was an embellishment; the tray was plastic). of course i am still under the influence of raspberry puree and vodka, so i smile at the man the whole time and am just happy and silly and kind of not-with-it. then i decide that my boots are uncomfortable (didn't need to be intoxicated to realize this, but had to be to do the following) so i went in the bathroom and changed my shoes. picture this, me in long camel coat with a skirt on wearing panty hose and puma sneakers. plus it was kind of trashy to change my shoes in the bathroom of NM - it's like, you wait till you get home and have the butler take your lovely bags up to your walk-in closet. then you change. but oh well; my feet were comfortable after that and i did not regret the change of shoes. drunk shopping is kind of fun. i'm glad i wasn't so tipsy as to spend hundreds of dollars. maybe it's just because the pumas were the first thing to catch my eye? anyway i wouldn't recommend it - i would say it's more dangerous than swimming naked while in a similar state...

moral of the story: do not get drunk anywhere near a nieman marcus. but i do like the shoes. will make sure to avoid similar intoxicated state before setting foot in Harrod's (tomorrow am leaving for london at 4:15!)