purple is the new blue

dear marshall fields:

people do not come in only one size. being the ONLY high-end-ish (and it's a big ISH) store in Dundee, i expected to find a nice gift for my father that may be available in a variety of sizes. however and to my dismay, all i could find were L, XL, and XXL sizes. get your head our of your dumb midwestern-mentality ass! not everybody is a fatass in this part of the country! and just because you are in a lower-income part of chicagoland (dundee/carpentersville) does NOT mean that the only people who inhabit this part are fat too! i guess this is to be expected from a department store that was conceived in the midwest.
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so purple is the new blue, at least in my world. my dad asked for clothes for christmas, and since MF didn't have mediums, i was forced to look elsewhere, to take a step down and go to carson pirie scott. there were these lovely izod shirts and they looked so soft and comfortable that i just had to get one for him... except mediums only came in purple, cream, black, and yellow. the purple was just such a nice color i couldn't resist. i guess if he doesn't like it he can take it back.

my brother and sister are the biggest brats i know. yesterday they returned from minnesota. my sister's boyfriend lives there, and he flew into o'hare from london, so my brother offered to drive him back up to MN, where he's from. anyhow b/c of logistics and my dad's loathing of the little truck, i was kind enough to let him use my car for the day. however, he would not be home till around seven, and i had to leave the house around five-thirty. my sister then needed to take the little truck, so i had to take my dad's car. i go out to the garage and do not even recognise it; it is completely ENCRUSTED IN SALT! i stepped back inside and yelled at my brother, WHY DIDN'T YOU WASH THE CAR! and he said, it was snowing, it would have gotten dirty again yesterday. BULLSHIT! it was sunny when they got home; he could have taken it then. but that is just such a complete lack of respect; my dad trusts them with his leather-interior expensive and very nice audi, and they return it to him covered in salt (and with different tires but that's a different story)! what a way to say thank you! i was actually embarassed to have to drive around in it, that's how dirty it was. i mean, you have your regular chicagoland-winter-dirty, but this was like a hundred times worse than that. so when i got back into town around 1:30 this morning with my head absolutely pounding from my new contacts, i couldn't stop thinking about my dad having to drive to work in that... so i went to the gas station and asked for a car wash. the lady said that it's too cold outside, it's not recommended. i explained the situation and she said, oh you're so sweet. okay, go ahead.

and now i know for sure that eve was held responsible for the fall of mankind... i spent a good part of the morning doubled over in pain, lying in the fetal position freezing in my bed beneath my flannel sheet, down comforter and bedspread. if i must go into further detail, i will just say that my unused reproductive cells left my body screaming loudly and kicking my uterine wall... i swear, it was twins this time. this is not fair! think about it - when guys release their reproductive cells, usually they are having fun doing it! we on the other hand lie in our beds doubled over in pain occasionally making our way to the toilet to dry heave because it hurts so bad. maybe i am being a bit dramatic, but this is exactly what i was experiencing this morning. and the remnants of my horrible contact lens headache from last night. it's like all the poisonous headache juice was concentrated behind my left temple and eye.

and for the last three or so days, Juanes has been giving me a private concert in my head, with Bacilos occasionaly joining in. it is especially annoying at three am when i am trying to fall asleep. it is not so bad though, he is constantly professing his love for me.