resolution? or, take the stick out...

warning: what follows is a highly superficial recap of the weekend... be on the lookout for lucid statements...

it is saturday night (actually sunday morning, 00:34) and here i am at home typing this post. no matter, it has been a quite satisfying weekend after all. and i'd rather not be out drinking right now, let me explain the events of last night...

after eating a skinny person's dinner (cereal with cool whip), two friends of mine tell me that they're going downtown for this person's birthday party. i say, cool, since i've had two unsatisfying weekends in a row, i'll take advantage of this and go downtown. lucky for them me tocó un pedo feliz... osea, lucky for them i was a happy drunk (if i'm tired i'm a mean and bitchy drunk, according to my girlfriends. i don't really know where they get this, because sometimes they say things and i respond to them honestly, which may come across as bitchy). and a cheap one at that. so i'm trying really hard to come up with a way to get downtown, because one of my friends has already left his place (i could have gotten a ride with him) and the other tells me that there may not be room for me in the car. so with my slow internet connection i try to get train schedules, etc. but it is faster to run up to my room... shoot, can't find where i put the thing... i get back to the comp and K has informed that i should "get over to [his] place, now!" so i jump in the car, face half done, i figure i can sneak into the bathroom at his place or his friend's place (it is the friend into whose car i'd be squeezing). anyway after meeting the friends and squeezing into the car, we are downtown. we get to this bar ... it is a tapas place and is called Bar Celona (and i don't get the name until we're halfway there, OH like the city!). so i am faced with a decision: pay thirty dollars to get a wristband that will allow me to consume all that i will before midnight, or pay cash for my drinks. hmmm. i ask the guy at the bar to make me an appletini. he says that i shouldn't ask for it if i have the wristband because they use poor quality materials. i tell him i'll be paying cash for it, knowing full well and accepting that it could cost me ten bucks. that's ok, i have nothing in my stomach and probably won't be able to drink anything after this. surprizingly it is only five, so i am glad that i didn't go with the wristband and proceed to down my "apple"tini (in reality it is a wannabe apple martini - it tastes like the guy mistook the melon for the apple puckers. blech. but i drink it anyway).

oh and after about ten minutes i am happily buzzed. then i get all touchy-feely. i'm not sure if it's because of the alcohol that i get like this, or i just use the alcohol as an excuse to touch everybody (the guys anyway). can't decide if this one guy, R, could be flirting with me or just tolerating me. used to be that i could point my finger (not literally) at a boy and say (not out loud), i'll be making out with him later. and it would happen. let's see, the last time i did this was in july, and it was a lot harder on the north american continent than what i'm used to. since then i have either not found anybody worth it, or have encountered cultural difficulties here in the states. nonetheless, R's roommates are telling me that they think he could be gay, and i am trying to prove or disprove it, and he is not responding to me. on the other hand, R is telling me T (birthday boy) is gay, even though he has a gf. what-tf-ever. my other friend, K, gets me a sangria and asks me when are we hooking up again? i sweetly inform him that one does not ask such questions. what follows is flirting with K, R, and some other people, but just flirting. the boys with whom i arrived decide it is time to go, i am still pleasantly buzzed but not really compelled to stay, so i go with them. we go to taco bell. one of them orders 8 (yes, eight) chili-cheese burritos. disgusting. i almost start crying because i am laughing so hard when another one of them puts a stack of napkins on my table (yeah, wtf?). not much else to report, only that K2 is so drunk that i have to drive from R, etc's apartment to K2's, and i pass out on his futon with his dog. i wake up about two or three hrs later, put my coat on and then a wave of nausea sweeps over me and i decide that i'd better sleep a bit longer, i'm paying rent so i should not have to explain the nights i don't spend in my bed. it's not like i'm doing anything questionable. wake up at seven with an awful hangover (though i had but two drinks the night before), then pass out at home till 3pm. i learned something new, and remembered something old: what are hipsters and what do they wear? and fuck-me-boots.

favorite quote of the night: "that's NOT take-home-able." C, talking about some taco bell item.

so when i went out tonight, i only had one glass of sangria - and it was black raspberry sangria so really good. went to a tapas place (this time for actual food) with K2 and S. mm very good - Ba Ba Reeba is what the place is called, i daresay it is even better than iberico. fortunate for my friends, bitchy-me is still in hiding since her london escapade. i was deeply disappointed in myself for letting her out, so i beat her into submission and only happy-me makes the appearances.

favorite quote (and new term!) for saturday night: "this cake is fuckme-good." said by me, talking about the truffle cake. so good - indescribable. suffice it to say that if i were on a date and that cake were given to me, i would be at his mercy in the hours following such a sensual indulgence.

so on to the reason for my title. i am glad that i was in such a good mood these last two nights - it was a good break because it takes a lot of energy to sit up stright with such a big stick up my ass. also takes a lot of energy to be bitchy. and maybe i have come to some kind of resolution? i'm not sure, i'll have to think more about it later, but i should observe the world around me (the burbs, the city, illinois, usa) as i would observe any other place - happily and with a good attitude and ready to make the most of what i find. because at this moment chicago is not the ideal place for me, and maybe i don't even belong here. but circumstances don't allow a move just yet. so until i can get out of here, it's my responsibility to make what i can of my current situation. and again, just be myself and not tolerate having the proverbial stick up my ass. forget about my image neuroses because they probably only exist in my lonely little world and they drive me nuts! just dress myself appropriately and most importantly, as I see fit. not as how people in london dress, or how the french are dressing. trying to keep up with them will only drive me crazy as it did in Buenos Aires. i just have to relax and leave the house looking good FOR ME.

speaking of that - i put a new spin as it were on an annoying trend - the poncho. see i have refused to wear one because i was doing the thing IN JULY. before it was ever so popular. before everyone and her grandma were doing it. and my summer one now rarely makes it out of my closet. well i decided to do something different with it (namely put one part of it in a different position thereby freeing my arms). it looks cool and i could wear it knowing that i wasn't really following everyone else - just putting a current trend into my own terms.

i hope the more important parts of this post aren't washed out by my lush habit banalities!

hey love, we just started here.
how'd you end it all
with just a little breath?

- the dog and everyting, hey love.