te portaste como una nena

i behaved myself quite well this weekend. evidence of this? all my bad behavior that had been stored up during three days (not that there was ever any point this weekend where bitchy-me even knew she may be summoned) was released as soon as i got to security. no, i wasn't bitching anyone out. i have a hard time with goodbyes i guess, so by the time it was my turn to walk through the scanner the tears were already falling. it didn't help that the lady made me go back and take off my shoes. by that time i had to go straight to my gate - and when i realized that this would involve walking in the cold i sat down in a chair with my head down and let even more fall. when it was time to board, i turned the corner and saw how small the plane was. by this time i was telling myself stay calm. breathe. do not freak out. but when i walked up the little stairs to board the plane i was hyper-ventilating. i put my hood up and sat down in my seat and cried. i was such a baby - i've never behaved like this in public before. i'm still trying to figure out why - although i probably know.

i stayed appropriately distanced from everyone tonight - i knew i was going to be crabby and bitchy so i ate dinner by myself.