poor anna

i start my wednesday mornings with Mrs B. today, still upset over last night's little breakdown, i entered the room and asked her how she was. i've been better, you?

i guessed it had something to do with yesterday.

yesterday when i entered her classroom (i start my tuesdays there as well), The Principal was in there speaking with her. Mrs B. had an immovable expression on her face, that said precisely that she was listening but trying to convince herself she wasn't hearing the words coming from The Principal. i entered on the tail end of that conversation, so i didn't hear any details. only that so next tuesday is good for you? good.

and The Principal continued to be there, intimidating everybody, for the next fifteen minutes. Mrs B. had me pull out the books that we read with the smaller groups of kids. the entire school uses a spelling-reading-language arts-vocabulary-etc curriculum by a certain publisher, and these curricula include short stories in little books that we read with the children in groups according to their reading levels. i had heard rumors before that aides were not to take reading groups; i believed these rumors because taking reading groups is the most unpleasant thing i have to do while inside (the absoultely most unpleasant thing is recess, which is usually outside). Mrs B. has her own set of books that she uses when she takes reading groups - ones that are outside the curriculum. and i am the only one who takes groups with the books that they're supposed to be reading.

well here i am in a chair bent over digging through the rubbermaid boxes where the books are kept, with my underwear (VS brazilian cut) possibly exposed, when The Principal asks me what i am doing. i cautiously explain that i am getting out the Publisher X books because she has me take groups on tuesdays. well first i'll take the kids who are getting their spelling test in english and give them their pre-test for this week. then she takes a chair and sits for the next fifteen minutes while i walk around the room as Mrs B. reads the longer story with them. she takes a few notes on a folded up creased half-sheet of notebook paper, and then leaves.

fast forward to today.
she tosses the envelope to me. LOOK at what i got to come to work to!
it was a letter from The Principal.
her criticisms were scathing. and she didn't even offer any kind of solution. what i mean is, they were all notes on what The Principal has seen wrong with her teaching, but no come to my office and we'll discuss what we can do about these issues or anything. just sheer intimidation; accusing her of not being connected with her students, being irresponsible in not bringing to the attention of the social worker one child that is becoming a behavior problem (not that they would be able to help him as he doesn't really speak english). i had to merely skim through the middle paragraph because i didn't want to know what else The Principal had noted. do you think i'm a bad teacher? she asks me. no, of course not! becase what could i say in that situation? i'm not a teacher so i am really not in the position to judge her teaching skills (though she could be more prepared and read through the Publisher X book and give lessons about phonemic skills, for example. have i ever heard her talk to her students about gender agreement? it seems kind of like she is going through the motions. but, i am not in there one hundred percent of the time nor am i a teacher so i really don't know what i am talking about). but really, in what position am i that i could give any other answer than the one i gave?

she told me that she has a meeting tomorrow with The Principal and someone else. i am so nervous i feel like i'm going to throw up. it's like so many heads are on the chopping block, and now hers! i wonder what's going to happen...

i thought a man-free workplace is what lessened the chances of office gossip and catty politics. i was wrong - it makes it a breeding ground for it.

i really hope The Principal doesn't ask me for MY opinion on it - i'd be torn between being honest and betraying a colleague. hmm.

and poor anna - i am within twenty pages of the end of Anna Karenina. and i thought I had emotional issues...