update

sorry i haven't been updating at all this week. i've been really tired. it's not that i haven't thought about anything - i just haven't gotten around to it, and when my brother is using the comp until ten every night, it is just easier to stay warm in my bed reading than going downstairs and freezing my ass off to type a few lines.

jasmine. jasmine is my favorite scent right now - i bought an entire tub of body cream with said scent the other day when i found two awesome pairs of workout pants. i like jasmine because in salta, argentina, there is a jasmine tree/bush growing in the courtyard of my host family's house. the scent was so strong you could smell it in my room. i remember the day i left, i took two flowers from the tree and put them in a book i had with me. for the rest of the summer i treasured those because they reminded me of all that was my salta experience. including mp. does it remind me of him? i think it reminds me more of what i felt, what i experienced. it was the first time anyone had ever taken notice of me. and he was fucking hot. for a girl who had never before imagined herself beautiful, who had never even really dated anyone because i had been involved for a number of years with a certain group where the boys didn't even LOOK at me (i think it was because i am not their typical blonde thoughtless big-busted all-american bible-lovin' housewife type), it was quite an experience to have someone give me so much attention. i fucking hate nostalgia but i have just become its bitch.

i was going to say, it would be so nice to get that amount of attention now. one must remember, there are certain things that can only be experienced once in life, and that was it. it is fun to flirt every once in a while though - take last night for example. i went out to eat with some friends. when the valet brought up the car, we jumped in quickly because we didn't have our coats on. i was looking out the window at one of the other people waiting for his car, and we made eye contact. he smiled, i smiled, he waved, and then blew me a kiss. i of course blew him one back and the subtle nonverbal flirting continued until JCP's BF pulled away from the curb. he blew me another and waved goodbye. that was fun - flirting from the safety of a car that is leaving.

that's all for now - i worked nine hours today looking at people's hands, taking their tickets and marking their hands with a sharpie.

my brother has informed me of a party at his place - he is up this weekend, and really wants to go (it is at his apt at school)... i am debating wether to go. i guess we'll see.