miss e versus the bitch club

saturday was my friend's sister's wedding. it was kind of lame. and the bride is a person i never really took seriously anyway, because she was always so spacey and flighty. i did have fun, however, catching up on all the cult gossip, especially the gossip about her bridesmaids. there were five of them, including her sister. of course her sister is my friend and the whole reason i was there, so she's cool. but the other four... i began to refer to them as the bitch club in my head as the festivities wore on. why?
1. not one of these girls attended the bachelorette party last weekend.
2. nor did any of them attend the bridal shower.
3. cc (the sister) told me that instead, these girls threw their own shower which consisted in sitting around their dorm floor and not talking, eating cheese and crackers (and they asked cc for $40 to cover the cheese and crackers.)
4. the smug looks with which each one walked down the aisle, as if this were their reward for "being her friend."
5. one of the bitches had the nerve to WEAR HER GLASSES! seriously! even if you cannot wear contacts, at least make an effort! you can put them on after pictures bitch! if you were my bridesmaid, i'd give you a seeing-eye dog before i'd let you wear your glasses!
6. not one seemed to be having a good time. they barely talked to the bride. and didn't talk to anyone but amongst themselves. had they spoken to anyone else, i would have asked them all these questions: so you missed a really good time at the bachelorette party! why couldn't you make it? aww you had to get a haircut? that's too bad. and be really fake.
I did do something that i've never allowed myself to do however. i actually let myself talk about "well when i get married..." usually i don't because i'm superstitious. i decided that for my wedding, the bridesmaids will wear little black dresses (because who wants to buy a dress that you'll never wear again? everyone needs a little black dress.) and i will wear a sleek sexy little number, no poofy skirt for me!