more fun with a rubber i have never had

my house is empty. MY HOUSE IS EMPTY! THIS HAPPENS 0.000000001% OF THE TIME! curse my ideals against booty calls, and the fact that i don't know who i'd booty call anyway, and that the argentine fucktard never wanted to see me again! ugh. this never happens when i'm seeing someone!

just a little restant calor from last night: i had a condom in my purse about which i was super curious. because it was in a little box, when they were handing them out at the bachelorette party a few weeks ago i had to have one just because of the box. well last night we were over at M's house. meg, christie, and myself were being prissy girls and staying out of the pool. M went inside for some reason and we girls were left to our own amusements. so i was like, hey watch this! so i unwrapped the condom and stuck it in the pool and filled it with water. it was black and had studs on it. weird. we debated wether the studs would actually make a difference. then i tied a knot at the end of it and we played with it for the next hour. till it broke all over my windshield!

oh, in that hour: M drove us in my car downtown to this hookah cafe to get some tobacco for his hookah. we brought the condom along to play with. the only bad thing about that is when you're done with it your hands smell all like condom. i hate that smell. anyway i was riding shotgun (of course, it's my car) and i was hanging it out the window and seeing how far it could stretch. then we were just flinging it around. then (under of the influence of my narcotics because i had a headache) i thought it would be a good idea to see if i could fling it out my window, across the windshield, and into the driver's window. nope. it splashed all over my windshield. fun while it lasted though!

moral of the story: if you have morbid thoughts or are bored or just need to giggle, fill a condom up with water. they're so fun to play with. i don't think i've ever had more fun with a condom! (honestly. maybe only once but there were so many other factors at play that the fun part was kind of washed out.)