and all i brought home was this... bruise

So i am such a clutz. check out my hot left leg. I MEAN check out the bruise on my shin! funny story as to how that happened. we were sitting outside this evening when my mom asked me how i got it. ok so here goes. last weekend was JCP's birthday. first we took her to a fondue place where her baby-ass boyfriend whined and complained about the food the entire time. should have left him at home. but i had no control over that. cc is a promoter and she had to work that night at this club. since it was jcp's birthday and she wanted to go out, cc put us on her list. little did we know it was one of those clubs... the ones where people 21+ get special wrist bands and have their own cordoned off section in which to consume their alcoholic beverages.

someone in our group had made a comment about how the little punks (well they weren't really punks per se, just little punks, you know) if they weren't running around in abercrombie tee shirts, were running around in polo shirts (by abercrombie, not the lacoste ones favored by people like ME! haha kidding) with the collars propped up. so at one point someone in the group wanted to go over to another section. this involved walking across the stage where there were a bunch of people standing watching the "porno face" contest (i still can't believe i set foot in a place like this!) i came across a boy that had a propped up collar. so i said, excuse me, you need to fix your collar. so batting my eyelashes and acting all cute i fixed it for him, then proceeded to follow my friends off the stage. BUT there were like three narrow stairs to get down onto the floor. and right after these stairs was a statue of captain morgan. so not realizing the presence of the stairs until the last second and not wanting to make a fool of myself by tripping, i held my ground and tried my hardest to stay balanced. i ended up slamming hard into captain morgan. it took a few days for this shiner to appear, but when it did i walked around the hospital feeling like a battered woman, or someone with a neurological disorder involving the right side of her brain, because on my left arm i had another big bruise. this one appeared on tuesday and i still have no idea how i got it. it looks like someone grabbed my arm hard. and someone probably did. that someone was most likely jcp's boyfriend who occasionally likes to play and act like a child. everyone always ends up with bruises from him. he needs to pick on people his own size.