todo mal

and i forgot to mention last night that i found out what a convoluted mess a friend of mine has created for himself.

let's call him Alfie. Alfie is a friend of mine. this summer we hooked up exactly two times. the first time was just because i was very horny. so was the second time. or maybe i was just bored. we had discussed (upon my initiation) a no-strings-attached contract before anything happened. friends with benefits, nothing more. and i didn't feel any emotional attachment to alfie, nor do i now.

last night, a friend, we'll call her sienna, called me up. i had seen sienna pull up to alfie's house the other night - i had been waiting outside in my car waiting for him and another friend whom we'll call Tarah to arrive because we were going to chill. as she pulled up she asked me if alfie was there yet? i told her no, and then asked why? sienna told me that it was too complicated and i was not to tell alfie that she had been there. so of course i didn't.

so in the phone conversation last night, sienna told me that she and alfie had been hooking up sporadically for a while. i laughed and said, oh now i see how things are with his female friends! because Tarah had spent the night after the three of us chilled. then she told me that she had had feelings for him, and asked me if i had been hooking up with him. of course i'm not going to lie, so i told her that we did twice, around the fourth of july. then i told her hmm that's funny because he had told me it had been a while since he'd gotten any. "yeah, that's what he told me!" she said. i think he had also agreed that if he was going to be hooking up with sienna he wouldn't be hooking up with anyone else. how curious then.

so basically alfie has been lying to both of us. i don't really care because honesty was not part of our contract and i have no emotional attachment to alfie beyond friendship. i don't feel wronged because i am the one who initiated it - basically i was using him. of course i'm still his friend and could care less about the physical contact. (don't even tell me it's wrong to use someone for sex, men do it all the time. besides, the terms were clear to both of us as per our agreement.)

so right now sienna is very upset at alfie. i'm glad she's not upset at me - i told her that i had no idea she had feelings for alfie. she confronted him face to face last night to call him on the lie and to tell him how she felt.

and now Tarah will have to deal with this. alfie told me (or at least tried to imply) that they hadn't hooked up, but i really think they did. he said that "i think i need to be in a relationship to do that, it's healthier."

i'm glad latex was also part of our agreement.

honestly, i'm not mad at alfie. i just think he needs to face reality and stop lying to himself and to other people. this boy even lies to his mother - we'll be out at a bar, she'll call, and he will say he's at the library. it's not a good idea to take at face value everything said by a boy who lies to his own mother.

oh and with my sister things have gotten worse. even though i drove her to work last night, walked into the building with her, she did not go to work. my mom was supposed to pick her up. she told me she found her walking the streets of jerry-springer-candidate town, she hadn't gone to work last night but instead had spent the night drinking.

she must have caught the crazy bug.

so yes i am getting depressed. and i feel a cold coming on, even though i've been taking vitamin c and washing my hands really well. oh well, i have twenty sick days.