why i'm agnostic

the roots of mental illness run deep in my family.

but because we are WASPs, nobody talks about it.

my sister is in the ICU because she came home this morning with a blood alcohol level at least ten times the legal limit.

and my mom said she was also talking of killing herself.


right now i'm just very, very angry. i don't know why she doesn't see that she can get help! she sees every suggestion as a personal attack.

i told my dad to put her back on aderol and get her back in college.

also that she needs to get rid of those dirtbag jerry-springer-star friends of hers.

to which my dad responded her friends aren't the cause of her problem. she has a problem and as a result chooses such friends.

maybe if they diagnose her with something she will get better. honestly, i know it sounds hypochondriac-ish, but it feels so good when you can actually put a name to what is wrong with you. you feel almost proud - but relieved that you're not the only one, that they actually have a name for what you're experiencing.

but still. i'm just angry right now.