weekend wrap-up: still hanging around apathy city

it's true. maybe because i'm just tired. but yeah i just don't feel anything right now. that's ok, because in all honesty i really don't have anything going on for which i really could feel anything.

which is ok because i am quite busy.

i feel a bit like i'm in college again.

except it's my own money, and it's coming the other way. and there is a lot less calculus, but the same amount of problem-solving. and i still struggle to get everything i want done on the weekends. i still put off doing "homework" for an hour here for national geographic channel, another hour there for plastic surgery: beverly hills, and yet another for desperate housewives. except in college it was like four hours for the real world.

i can still smell my last college apartment. it didn't smell bad, it just had its own distinct clean smell.

if i were my old roommate i wouldn't worry at all about retirement; i would instead spend all of the money i made fabulously and save what i couldn't manage to spend to be donated to the charity of my choice should untimely death begin looking me in the face. (must mention here that she has cystic fibrosis, and one of the things i learned from satellite TV -namely, DHC- is that people with CF don't live much older than thirty.) of course were i in the same situation i'm sure i wouldn't be talking like this. or were i to begin to face untimely death i probably wouldn't be talking like this. or would i? i know i'd cash in the $ in my IMRF/TRF acct (which isn't much, probably enough for a plane ticket off the continent.)

i don't know. the "but what is the POINT?!" question is one that has haunted me since i can remember being able to remember things. i remember walking in a field with my mom or maybe my older cousin one afternoon, and i was asking about the milkweed as i opened the pods and played with the seeds. she told me that the seeds in their pods with their white silky tails were there so that the seeds could be spread out and more milkweed plants could grow. i remember actually thinking about its futility. not in those words of course. but i was thinking, well then what is the point? (again, not in those words.) i mean, what is the fancy pod good for if it is only used to make more milkweeds??? i remember thinking something along those lines as a very young child.

anyhow, i plan on getting up early tomorrow because i didn't manage to get all my planning done this weekend. i didn't manage to do much of anything this weekend to be honest. i went out last night but it can't really be considered "going out." but i did have some fried calimari with tons of lemon, so it was a good night. emotion and intellect wise i'm not so sure. something was said about trying to xtianize yoga. i snorted and then turned my nose up at the idea.

why?
buddhism at least was around way before xtianity (was it?)
yoga does deal with spirituality. but, it deals with the spirit inside each person, and not some ethereal Spirit you wait to come dwell within your soul. for me the yoga version is more pure.

please if you know any xtian try your hardest to convince him/her that fitting yoga into the xtian mold and using it as a vehicle for outreach will only adulterate it, take something pure and taint it.

anyway those are my thoughts this evening.