today is just one of those days. i can hear the wind outside which reminds me that my hands are freezing. so it's the weather and the fact that i had a pretty "tough" workout despite it being "only" yoga, and i haven't been getting much sleep (jared diamond and jay leno are both so compelling!) so i'm back on that old thought track...
what is the point?
it's so frustrating - it's like i can't rationalize my way out of it. sure there are other circles but they are concentric and therefore i would need to take a quantum leap in order to reach them.
oh yes, i remember how it started. my dad told me about this conference he had gone to where the speaker said everything you can eat is "bad." so his solution was to eat 12 boneless, skinless chicken breasts every day. i told my dad ok that trend already passed. this guy must be stuck in the year 2000! then, he showed me a picture of the guy - a fit man with his fit wife. he told me, look, this guy is 68 and his wife is 48. i looked a tad closer and said, EWW, people that old should not look like that, i don't care how fit they are! then my dad tells me, this guy swears he's going to live to be 120. trying to convince me this diet should affect me in some way.
i don't want to live to be 120, i said. and then the wheels started turning and i thought about my reasons for that, which i've known for quite some time. then i thought about re-incarnation and how that might be a solution or reason for our existence. and earlier i was thinking about what is one thing one could do that really matters? and i can come to no other conclusion than this: five million (give or take) years from now the sun will become a red giant and swallow up this entire planet; all the achievements made by the human race and where will i have fit in to all of it? even if i were the one responsible for our own destruction on earth, what would it matter? we're headed toward destruction anyway.
anyway just some food for thought :-)
i'm tired; i think it's best for me to sleep now (but what's the point?)
ha. i think so long as i don't think about it i'll be fine.
16.2.06
concentric circles
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2 comments:
just wanted to say hello. you know since its all crazy here in london. how you doin?
You call that food for thought? It's more like a heavy dinner right before going to bed! No more J. Diamond for you... try J. Grisham better. ;-)
The answer(s) to your question may lie in the small things that everyday life has to offer; not in a huge cosmic explanation of the purpose of existance of "intelligent life forms" on this planet and their future. [Just for the record, when I say "intelligent life forms" I'm excluding those monkeys in my training group!]
And a 68 years old dude who wants to live another 52 eating only chicken?! No pasta or chocolate or some R-V drinks on the weekends? I'm affraid he lost it many moons ago.
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