a VERY STRICT cupcake policy

yeah i just discovered that i go to the dentist of someone famous who has a certain book club. apparently she is not all that attractive in real life.

anyway, i went to get my toes done (why? hm, just because, is that a good answer?) and when i got home my tooth which has the temporary filling was killing me. so my mom gave me half a v!cod!n.

i started to grade papers, and then some of my mom's friends came over to watch the NC/Duke game.

they are her friends from work.

they mentioned this guy john who they can't stand.

me: oh, who is this john, mom? do i know him? have i met him?
mom: [shakes head]
jan: he drives a hummer.
me: YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT HUMMERS!
nikki: he keeps telling me how big his neighbor's house is.
me: THIS MAN MUST HAVE A REALLY TINY PEN!S!
mom: are you on vicod!n?
me: [remembering] oh, yeah. i forgot.

oh i just got back in touch with one of the people my mom was going to report to Monty Roberts (the real horse whisperer). i think only liz knows what i'm talking about! she's a producer at the NBC affiliate in a *certain* city of a certain southern state.

"OMG you should totally come visit me, you can totally crash at my place! i can totally take you surfing too!"