sex with santa? BARF!

... maybe i got the tour because the interviewer was a man and the top i was wearing was sewn in such a way as to make it appear that i had prominent nipple-age...

anyway.

i spent a week home. it was my sisters' birthday (as well as my boyfriend's) and my mom decided to have a baby shower for my pregnant sister while the non-preggers sister got drunk. yes, she really did get drunk. it was funny. i heard she fell in the pool a number of times.

i could not post because (well that's just an excuse as there is another computer at home) the wireless thingy was not picking up the signal from the wireless router. oh well. i was on vacation.

it was very, very hot. and humid. and having been exposed to humid air, i appreciated the hot (but not as humid) atmosphere i encountered upon my return to the south.

and one of the best ways to keep cool when it's hot like this is to hang out in the pool. i highly recommend it. liz and i spent four hours in the pool. four consecutive hours - we were drinking water and iced tea the whole time and being hydrated we (i) figured it would be ok to discreetly pee in the pool because it would be clear anyway (due to the being hydrated). ha. kidding.

but seriously - on a day during which one would have to be retarded to get some sun, i actually got some tan lines without all the sweating because i was in the water the whole time! it was awesome!

what else. i drove back to the south with my mom and Santa Claus. yes you heard it, santa claus. her "friend" offered to go with her so that she wouldn't have to drive back alone. i thought i'd be alright with the quotation marks around friend, but when we arrived at his house and i got the grand tour, he had for just a split second put his hand on my mom's waist. shudder. and things didn't get any better. when it was his turn to drive, my mom had three beers right in a row so she was acting all teen-ager-ey and i really felt oh my god my mom really has no class!

and all that was worse because santa was driving fast and my mom was constantly nagging him and asking me dumb questions (on purpose!) over and over again. so i was stressed out. and then my mom decided she was going to stay with him in his hotel room (i'm sure she had planned it that way although she had spoken of sleeping on the futon - oh, but i don't think i could do that, with you guys having sex in the next room.) no we wouldn't, not with her in the next room.

what's worse... your mom imagining you having sex with your hot boyfriend, or your daughter imagining you having sex with santa?

groooosssss.

there is a bit more to update but my lap is sweating beneath my laptop so i'll pause it, just for now.