mushrooms?

let's just get it out: i want breast implants. i want to be a normal size so that i can have my pick of any bra out there.

anyway.

background story: a couple of weeks ago i went with five girlfriends and one guy to quelquepart island, sc. (it was actually kind of amazing to be in a group where WE WERE ALL HOT and there were no fat ugly girls -haha i'm so mean- i crossed out the fat because it's mean and i have some friends who complain they are fat, but i have no friends who are ugly) we had started the day early, around 9:00 and well, when in rome, you know. shortly thereafter my mom called and i picked up. realizing that when in rome it may not be the best idea to converse with my mother, i told her i was at the beach and distracted so i'd have to call her back. um, okay... she said, and it appeared to me that she was speaking to me as she would speak to me if i were drunk.

upon our return from the beach, i listened to my messages and my brother had left a cryptic rant about the "magic mushrooms" and how he couldn't believe i didn't feel bad about "eating all the mushrooms and making mom feel bad." i was convinced that he was being an asshole and trying to make me feel bad about picking up the phone when i couldn't be bothered to talk.

i freaked out and thought my mom was upset by our abbreviated conversation that morning. i called boyfriend and told him about the situation, and cried as i asked him to call her (because there was no way i trusted myself to talk to her with any coherence) and explain to her that "i was 26 and could do as i pleased." (i only remembered this yesterday as boyfriend and i laughed about the call i received from my brother.)

which brings me to yesterday. i finally picked up the phone to answer his call (i was until then only accepting text messages from him). shortly after i said, hello, he began to tell me a story:

when you were twelve or thirteen years old, one evening you were hungry and looked in the fridge and all there was to eat was this package of mushrooms. so you took it out and ate every single one of them. then mom got home and she was pissed off at you, because she was going to use the mushrooms that you ate for that day's dinner. she was yelling at you and you didn't even feel bad.

OOOOOOHHHHH so that's what you were talking about! but, why this recollection?

i think this explains my aversion to mushrooms. i felt bad for mom because you didn't feel bad about eating all those mushrooms!

so he actually was talking about mushrooms. i thought he was being euphemistic and totally blew it out of proportion. and needless to say, i have zero recollection of the mushroom incident, but i wouldn't put it past my twelve or thirteen year old self.

yet another shining example of why one should always get one's facts straight before reacting to a situation. or of why one should observe without reacting, or observe and withhold judgement.