outrage and accepting that i am stressed

i haven't made any plans for this weekend. according to my mom and the pain in my spine at the top of my back, i am stressed out. what do i have to be stressed about? i'm afraid i have some strange disease or something because everything seems the same as it has been for at least the last few months. however we have to take some things into account. no word from the lawyer; he is very busy, but anyway, this could be a source of stress because i do not like to feel inferior. i am the only one responsible for the way i feel, so naturally i blame myself for feeling this way, and according to my psychologist i am always too hard on myself; this could be one source of stress. also i was very disappointed in my compatriots last week - this could also be a source of stress, pent up for one week and finally manifesting itself in this stiffness of my spine. my ugly face is also a source of stress. i shouldn't say ugly. what i mean is, the ugly state of my face. really, why??? what have i done differently? do i have some hormonal problem? because everything is functioning normally. the only explanation i can think of is that in august a lot of the skin of my chin (which is where the breakout is concentrated) was damaged from, as i've said before, kissing many times a chilean boy who hadn't shaved for a few days. so since the 23 year old skin was damaged, i got brand new skin there that had to go through its own adolesence. which explains why it is acting like a teenager. haha, that is my own pet theory - there is no scientific base to it (ya think?!).

also i've just remembered that i have a source of OUTRAGE in my life. this afternoon i worked in Miss K's class. she had a substitute. so since subs rarely expect me or know what to do with me, i went to Miss K's desk. on her desk there is a pile of letters that need to go home with each student. the heading of the letter? SCABIES. !!! nobody has told the staff anything about this. i'd heard that it was only in two classes - those two classes being informed, and nobody else, to protect privacy. but they forgot something - what about us lowly classroom assistants that work in said classrooms? hello - this is something about which we must be notified because we work with these kids! it is an outrage. tomorrow i will talk to the Principal. i was just going to directly report it to the union - but the staff still deserves to know what's going on. i mean, we didn't even recieve an email. if they give me any bullshit about protecting privacy i'm going to the Higher Authorities. i don't want any "mite-like parasites" inhabiting me!

oh and you know what else? today i'm driving home and some asshole has his BMW Z3 parked in the driveway. as in right in the middle when you pull into the driveway. as in blocking anyone from entering said driveway. so i put my VW into park in the middle of the road before entering the driveway, and pout. my mom is in the yard talking with some guys who are working in the yard. she signals me and i reluctantly roll down the window. she says to drive in the grass. i say, "and what if i don't want my car to go in the grass?!" i was so mad but i figured WTF and drove in the grass, cussing at the men in the yard the entire drive up. i've got a bad mouth when i'm mad - and the word co*k has somehow entered my vocabulary. because parking your beamer in the middle of someone's driveway for all to see is something only an arrogant prick would do - i think that is why. either way, this word must be eradicated as it is not a lady-like word. it's a very dirty word that would validate someone calling you a "penis breath" after using it. good thing my windows were rolled up.