m's birthday in numbers

2: interesting things i saw tonight: a maserati and a baby raccoon.

1: deer i almost hit on the way home.

2: cigarettes consumed

2: times i got spilled on: the first time the waitress let a drop of red wine sangria fall on my WHITE cardigan; the second time H spilled an entire pepsi in my lap.

countless: napkins stuffed up my pants (was wearing my cool pants - these wide legged semi capris - think those flowy pants that look like a skirt and are very low cut only not flowy and not so much like a skirt and in white pinstriped khaki colored linen)

50: pounds i appeared to have gained in my thighs after stuffing said napkins up said awesome pants.

47: percent that is of my actual body weight.

0: alcoholic drinks consumed

100: milligrams of fioricet consumed

0: fights i got in with JCP's boyfriend (yay for me!)

2: times i "dropped trou:" ie, pulled my pants down and squatted to pee. once on the side of the kennedy as we were pulled over while m was throwing up; the other behind a tree in m's yard. there were three boys in the car, and me. when i got back in the car after the first time, i said you guys must be totally disgusted, right? and they're like, no. and i said well you guys would have done the same; the only difference is i don't have a dick.

1: number of bright ideas/research proposals: do some bars/clubs ever pay people to stand in line outside their door so that it looks like it's a hotspot and any joe schmoe who walks up with his group will automatically think this is a great club because the bouncers automatically send him up to the front of the line? imagine the possibilities...

1: trashy bar visited. there was too long of a line for the place we wanted to go so we just went to coyote ugly, which happened to be next door.

all of them except for me: number of "corpulent" and/or older ladies at above mentioned bar.

countless: laughs i was able to have without the encouragement of alcohol.