*sigh*

god i am such a )&#*(&$(*&%^&$&*()&$% here i am, it is 22:40 and i don't even have clean sheets on my bed!

it's actually cos i sprayed it with lysol. not that anything dirty happened in my bed, but i've been on an anti-germ kick for a while now, making sure my sheets are changed every week and the whole thing is disinfected because i don't want my face to break out again.

had another dream where i was in my imaginary world, the one i always return to. i was guiding a bunch of kids; we ended up walking along a dirt road, i wanted them to ride horses but we didn't have enough helmets or horses. then we went swimming in this huge above-ground pool that had really warm water, and JCP and i had these blisters all over our legs from the weeds. then i went in this old mansion that had been converted to a little restaurant. i kept following this line trying to find another exit but there was only one. the line would lead up to doors and windows that had been sealed off from the outside world.

this could be so freaking symbolic of my situation right now. *sigh*

i'm pretty conflicted right now. but more on that later.