BIG words!

this is weird - most of the people whose blogs i read don't post on the weekend. i find myself posting multiple times on the weekend. either i'm a big loser or i just can't find the time or energy to post during the week and use my weekends for resting...?

i can't really think of anything better that i could be doing right now. is it healthy to only go out one night per weekend? i mean, is that normal or am i being antisocial? however, circumstances aren't necessarily in favor of going out currently - two friends with whom i am used to hanging out i believe are not talking to each other (sienna and alfie) and i saw one of them last night (not what you're thinking, there were a bunch of us who went out.) and every social butterfly knows she can't see the same person two nights in a row.

what follows is my current list of ten - ten reasons he stopped calling you (and note: this has nothing to do with my life - i just thought it would be fun to come up with some excellent excuses to make me laugh when i find myself in just that situation.)

1. he just found out that he has fathered a child.
2. he realized he is gay (and that he was only using you to try to convince himself he wasn't)
3. he is screwing around with a snaggletooth woman nearly twice your age who lives in a double-wide. instead of telling you he will appear on the jerry springer show, he will just let you see for yourself. um, where did you scrape this guy up off your shoe? you date guys with taste! and not to mention class! good riddance!
4. he has decided to devote his life to his religion and become a born-again virgin.
5. he is a never-nude (like tobias in arrested development) and instead of telling you before you get too serious, he would rather keep his denim cutoffs on than get your pants off. again, you date guys with taste so you're better off without him.
6. he has multiple-personality disorder (is that the current term for it?) and this has caused an internal argument in which it came out that you really have been cheating on him with another of his personalities.
7. he got deported.
8. he's a mobster and his wife smelled your perfume on him and now he's sleepin' with the fishes. literally.
9. he's a major drug trafficker (a la johnny depp in blow) and he finally got caught.
10. he has some deep-seated self-esteem issues and feels inadequate next to your indimidating intellect. plus he's a pussy so he won't tell you this, he will just stop calling because he wouldn't be able to stand you telling another joke that goes over his head. plus those big words that get in the way. he would rather communicate non-verbally (so you can't use big words on him, of course.)