thirty-TWO-HOO-HOO!!!

(as in i'm letting out a nasal laugh as i say it) yet another low. (or how mister antichrist himself might sound as he is getting the news... oh wait, it's probably not front page news, so somebody is going to have to tell him but they don't want to pop the bubble he lives in so he probably doesn't know)

anyway it has been one thing after another that has left me in a stupor; that has left me wandering around wondering if i dreamed that???

twenty seems to be a big year for the three miss e's. i was twenty the first time i became enamored/infatuated/obsessed, the first time i had been out of the country for more than two weeks, the first time i realized that i hate goodbyes, the first time i was let-a-crane-fall-on-me depressed.

my sisters are twenty. let's see... one, BEFORE becoming pregnant, received three underage drinking tickets and was hospitalized three times for being intoxicated. oh yeah, and now she is 21 weeks pregnant.

the other went to a gala on saturday night. she flew up to MN and stayed with her bf, bought a dress and even a FIFTY DOLLAR BRA (her first ever!) and the morning of the gala, he tells her that he has cheated on her. WITH THREE DIFFERENT GIRLS. i felt like throwing up. him, of all people? i mean my brother cheating on his crazy ex girlfriend isn't okay but it's understandable. but matt? (the name of the bf of my sister) and THREE? that is crazy shit right there, but still. i would not have expected it from him.

anyway. before i found out this little tidbit, i was in a bad mood. i guess it was, though it may sound very cliched lately, the price of gas. i filled up today. i got a discount b/c i bought a car wash, but still. there was some other reason... i think... nope, it was just the price of gas. oh and i was a little pissed becuse maybe i was distracted or something, but i pulled up to the pump on the wrong side of my car! i have NEVER done this before. oh yeah and everyone and their monster-truck-drivin' grandma decided to get gas at the same time i did.

it could be my seasonal sertraline adjustment (went down 50mg) or it was because i was hungry.

i spent the rest of the afternoon outside. i went down to the barn and played with the barn cats. i bought catnip yesterday and i wanted to see how the outside cats would react to it. they did the same thing that the inside cats did! what is it about catnip that makes the cats smell it and then decide to roll in it? and why doesn't it work on people???

then i finished my tea while lizzie (dog who just got a haircut yesterday) sat in my lap as i tried to get the cats to come over to us. oh yes, this was while i was waiting for a pot of paste to cool. then i brought that out to the yard and sat until 18:30 massaging balloons as i coated them with strips of newspaper coated in the paste!

very soothing. honestly.