this is why i don't shop at wal-mart:

THERE ARE DESKTOP-EATING MONSTERS IN THEIR STOCKROOM WHO TAKE A BITE OUT OF DESKTOPS AND THEN TAPE UP THE BOX!

in other words: i finally purchased a desk. excited that my computer would have a new home, i ignored the fact that one corner of the box had been taped up. my instinct told me to choose one with a more pristine box.

and i would have.

except, the taped-up-corner box was on the top. the better boxes were on the bottom. boyfriend and i "team-lifted" the box and discovered how heavy it was. my fat ass told me don't worry about getting one with a nicer box. THAT SHIT WAS HEAVY! you'll have to do three times the work to get one of the bottom ones.

my better sense knows that it is important, as a consumer, to make sure what you're buying is not damaged. but since my experience with recycled, taped-up boxes used at ikea, i figured that was what was going on here. at the worst it would maybe have a dent or a scratch.

so we struggled to get it to fit in the shopping cart. then we paid for it and all; struggled to get it to my car and to get it IN my car. carrying it up the stairs to the apt. left me out of breath. i decided to leave the assembly for the next day.

sunday afternoon i decided it was time to put it together. so i opened the box, didn't notice anything weird. but then i began taking the pieces of styrofoam and wood out and discovered that - GASP! - something had completely bitten off one of the corners of the desktop!

i almost cried. then as boyfriend was suggesting i put it all back in the box and take it back, i sat at my computer pouting for half an hour.

finally i said, "no way. it's their negligence that's responsible for this, so they should have to do the work of putting the pieces back. besides, if we put everything back properly it might get taped up again and put back on the floor and i'm not lugging that whole thing back down. we're going to take the pieces down to my car, put them in a shopping cart, and return the thing.

i was afraid i would be mean and yell at the customer service people. but i quietly told her that "something took a bite out of this desk." the look on her face dissolved any latent anger i held towards wal-mart regarding the desk. so she said we could leave the desk pieces there in the shopping cart, and bring a new one back up.

we made our way to the furniture section, to the place where the desk was and -gosh darn- there was not a single desk left.

"it's a sign!" i said.

for a second boyfriend had me convinced that shopping at wal-mart was ok - it was the first place (after quite a few) i had found a small desk that i actually liked that was made of solid wood for the most part and not "engineered wood." although as i stood in the checkout line i wondered which human-rights-law-free US territory it was made in, and how old was the person who put it in the box?

but, i'm not sure i can be lured back in there again.


i hate that i am now picking out a desk based on how heavy it is.

i'm kind of a snob, and i believe it's ok to spend a bit more on something you love that you'll have for a long time. i don't like paying for crap that's made out of particle-board. yes, those are much cheaper, but... i just scrunch my nose at the thought because i can just feel the plastic of the top peeling up at the corners and see it sitting out on the curb for the garbage man to pick up when i've finally found the wood desk of my dreams, all warped and trashy-looking because of the rain. (although i'll probably post it on craigslist before i resort to that.)

i guess if we were to compare this situation to a social situation, the cheap particle-board is like a one-night or one-week stand (if i were a player) - i can already see its end before the "relationship" has begun. i already know what to expect and i know that it's only temporary. i'm settling for something below my standards so i can only go about this "relationship" as if it were a temporary one. i'm choosing a "right-now" desk while i await the "right" desk.

god i really am a spoiled brat and/or snob.

i gotta get out of the house before i become a shut-in. i blame my bad mood and my ganas to do nothing on the depression (which has come back somewhat now that i've had my meds switched around)

so i'm going out to the predictable office chain stores to find my right-now desk.