brokedown

i just killed another of the little f@ckers. he was on the ceiling so i had to use the toxic spray (the borax would have snowed down on ME and done who-knows-what. i've gotta find out what borax does to a person...)

fortunately it was a little one (or maybe tiny because last week i murdered what boyfriend said was a "medium" one... and it was HUGE!)

i encountered him walking across the ceiling.

how the hell does he reach the ceiling, almost mid-way through the living room, while escaping my notice? it's like they are appearing out of nowhere. like all the psychic shit coming from me takes the form of a cockroach when it's negative. i have yet to see how it is encarnated when all my psychic shit is positive. maybe it turns into a butterfly? cotton candy? avocado?

well, fortunately i'm too tired to care all that much. but i just thought of something that might be an underlying cause of my general aversion, revulsion and barfiness when it comes to cockroaches.

remember the movie brokedown palace?

about the girls who fall in with the wrong crowd in thailand and a hot hippie surfer dude puts drugs in their bags? and then they go to prison? where it's really nasty? and claire danes begins hallucinating one day?

yeah, and when they take a look at her, almost as if it were standard protocol, they stick a tweezer in her ear and pull out a...

brace yourself...

a...

oh gawd i can hardly think about it...

a... COCKROACH!

see, this can be HORRIBLE for a person who's brain chemistry won't let her just kill the damn thing and move on. ok, ok. i had pretty much moved on by today. and this one was just a baby. but eww i think of the ones that crawl across the ceiling over my head, or the ones that escape my notice until they're really obvious.

example of odd behavior: i turned the kitchen light on with my driving-moc-covered foot. no way i'm going barefoot. i just imagine the crunch and feeling the exoskeleton pieces become encrusted in the sole of my foot.

i hope my ears are too small to let a cocksucker crawl into my brain.

i'm going to buy those orange foamy earplugs. i would say they would serve a double purpose, those of protecting my brain and sealing out noises. but it isn't noise that bothers me when i'm trying to sleep, it's light.

ok i'm tired now.