in the interest of mental health

my abs and arms are hurting today. yesterday i had a half hour of pilates after two weeks of zero physical exertion. i'm never going that long without pilates again! in fact, we were doing leg spirals or something like that and i could not for the life of me straighten out my left leg without it shaking violently. you know when your leg is positioned a certain way and it just shakes of its own accord? yeah that's what was going on. i had to keep both knees slightly bent while the rest of the class could straighten theirs. stupid shakey leg!

so is this sad? that the two things i've written about lately, the two prevalent areas in this blog, are the gym and my job? and i have said nothing of a previous concern, men? well, there is a little something going on under the radar, but i am going to end it. the fact that it is even "under the radar" is my first clue that it should not be happening, so i am not letting it get to "affair" status (in other words, i still have not "gotten any [actual sex]" since october.) and frankly, i don't care. is it an effect of the anti-depressant i have been taking for the last two weeks? i'm not sure; i wasn't getting any before i started it and i'm not now, so i don't think i could tell the difference. oh well, i could care less. (my reason being, with me being hell-bent on leaving the midwest, it would not be in the interest of my mental health to attach myself to anyone here only to have to leave him, or not leave at all!)

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the meeting this morning was about this reading program they will be implementing next year. those four aides will be trained in it. i am a little bit offended that i wasn't invited to it because neither was Pam, the 72 year old who is retiring next year and hogs the copier and almost every day yells at it, taking her head in her hands, to "stop stop! no! no!" so it's almost as if they're not expecting me to be there next year. well here's why: i had spoken with one of the reading teachers (one who decided which aides to train) earlier this year about what i planned on doing in the future. i had told her that i was maybe thinking of being a spanish teacher and also maybe going abroad again to teach english. that is probably why she didn't choose me to be at the meeting; i am not likely to return next year. daang and now The Principal probably knows. i have not officially announced my resignation, and may not even. we'll see in the middle of the summer.