new challenge

so i've taken on another post: local coordinator for a high school exchange program. which means i have to recruit host families and interview them and match students with them. it's kind of sales-ish-y but it should be fun.

the only problem i have with this program is this: they have a special group of kids who receive grants to study here - kids from primarily muslim countries. the person who places them has to make sure host families fulfill certain requirements, such as no pets or something like that. i agree with richard dawkins in his questioning of why religion is given such an out-of-bounds-for-compromise status; if a student is interested in getting to know the real US then he should accept whatever host family he's placed with. the family shouldn't have to conform to his culture, but the other way around. that's all.

it's been piss-ass rainy all day. naturally i am in an unpleasant mood.

highlights:
*managing to get my laundry done AND put away (two things that don't always happen in close succession; there is an average span of a week between washing/drying/folding and putting-away-in-appropriate-place)

*waking up at seven am. yes this is a highlight because i couldn't sleep any longer and had i stayed in bed any longer i'd have a migraine at the moment and be in my bed with none of my clothes washed and an ice pack over my eyes

*bidding farewell to andresito (whose visit lasted only three days. sometimes i love the genes that made me this way!)

*target plants finally coming up. a few weeks ago i bought some one-dollar pots that had a "soil capsule" and seeds, of varying species. so coming up is forget-me-not and morning glory, i think. i guess we'll just have to wait and see!


but one thing that is pressing on me from all sides (due mostly to my bad mood caused by the rain) is that old desire to TRAVEL and not just travel but LIVE SOMEWHERE ELSE. i want to run away again.

i noticed this the other day: i went to buenos aires for a year, and one of my goals, whether i recognized it or not, was to alienate myself from the brainwashed world of the evangelicals. and i effectively accomplished that, seeing as i never really heard from any of them again.

yesterday this lady called. it was the one time in maybe three months that i answer the house phone. she mispronounced our surname so i told her "ethel" was not here (mispronunciation of the surname usually leads me to conclude the caller is a telemarketer). but then she said well somebody must be playing a joke on me. did someone call from this number about an apartment on water street? OH. so i explained to her that i hardly ever pick up the house phone, but that it may have been one of my parents who called. so she confirmed the cell phone number and i told her that mom was at work but if she left a message she would definitely get it.

ugh. it's like everything is collapsing before our very eyes. it's like i'm in a house being shaken by an earthquake and i have to get out before it flattens me!

anyway just some scattered thoughts inspired by the icky weather outside.

that's how much it must've meant...

driving up Lake Shore Drive with Lizsa, we were both witnesses to the following conversation yesterday.

Lizsa: says goodbye to Scott1 on the phone. Yeah that was Scott1. ... (sorry lizsa if i mix a few things up; poetic license) i slept with him in october. god, that was the last time i had sex.

Miss E: yeah me too. no wait, september. maybe even august was the last time for me.

miss e continues driving a few blocks, a pensive look on her face.

Miss E: oh wait, duh, when i was in argentina. december then. (again, if you've already been with the person, a reencounter DOESN'T COUNT!)


Airfare: more than i'd like to admit. Room and Board: ~$300. Realizing that people stop seeing each other for a reason: priceless

snowed-in?

*someone* has invaded my subconscious.

this week i have had three dreams in which this person played a role.

i dreamed that i was reading a blog. i don't know about anyone else, but everytime i read in a dream it never makes sense. i wake up with the words in my head but as i gain more and more consciousness they dissolve. it said something like: i want to go to ________. But then i have to pack all my stuff... and that was the extent of the part that seemed to make sense. and yes, the blank was in there.

then last night i was reading the printed out version of a post to a blog. at the bottom was the short part of a phone number, kind of like this 347-_______. and below that, hand-written in blue ink, was the rest of the phone number. don't remember any exact numbers- the above 347 is purely a guess. and the part of the post after the number i think it said something like please call me or maybe it was written in blue ink. anyway whoever had written it also drew a smiley face with a little tongue.

yes, but it is always entertaining when i try to read in my dreams. next time i'll have to write down the words before they fly away.

*************
in other news:

1) it is snowing. they are expecting 12 inches. before it gets too bad, can i have a buddy with whom to get snowed-in? i've got all this bubble bath...

2) my mom is having a sleepover with my aunt. my aunt wants my mom to get snowed in with her and, given that she kicked out my cousins over xmas break, she's got the space! also, i believe the original reason for my mom to go over there was so that "she could see my new appliances before they get old." (i guess she got a new dishwasher and fridge).

3) at the beginning of february my mom is going with my sister to south carolina. they are bringing their horses.

4) they will be gone six weeks or more.

5) my sister will be competing all over the southeast.

6) on her way back, my mom plans on looking at properties in north carolina.

7) apparently it was mr. p's brother. i finally listened to my voicemail (i had four new messages!) after a week of procrastinating. yes, he was drunk off his ass but he said he didn't know what his brother had sent because he erased it all. then he's like i'm driving now and i'm so druuunk man, i'm kind of afraid. i forwarded the message to him (the text message).

8) my mom informed me that we've got all these miles, just sitting there. go ahead and use them!

9) so what to do with those miles???

blizzard

amazing... 21:44 and i'm in bed already! i think it's because i didn't have any caffeinne this afternoon. no i went straight from school (which i left promptly at 3:30 like a good girl) to my house, changed to yoga regalia but with underwire, grabbed a shirt i need altered and went straight to the tailor. from which i went to the gym, arriving at 16:15 with plenty of time to prepare for tomorrow before going to pilates!

anyway.

and the silver anniversary of my existence is fast approaching. since one only lives once and i've had enough of silver, this will be the platinum anniversary of my existence. i have a (one-piece) collection of antique platinum rings that i'm looking to build up. my mom said she would give me one of hers if i didn't find what i was looking for.

the whole reasoning behind the PT is should the need arise i can switch fingers and invent a story to discourage unsolicited attention.

actually, no. it's a "right hand ring." which means that first and foremost i am committed to myself. i know, that sounds selfish but one of the worst feelings i have experienced is that of betryaing/cheating on myself. ie, dating one person while thinking about another; doing something i really don't want to do, stuff like that. going against what my heart tells me, to put it in other words.

when i got it in 2003 i honestly thought more people would ask me about it and what it means. nobody has unless i mold the conversation to make the person ask just what it means.

yeah so the above is a bunch of crap that came to my mind while i feel some kind of fever creeping up to my ears.

what happens if it swallows me whole? i'll certainly be much warmer.

and one more thing. in chile a friend told me sos exigente, orgullosa, e introvertida. the first two i already knew, but introverted? hello, i traveled half a world by myself, then twenty hours on a bus by myself (wedged between the window and an obese blind man, no less) and you call me introverted? but i'm beginning to see it.

and one more thought

there were two quotes in my head today but i can only remember one of them.

"what's the use of a 24-inch waist if you don't touch me?"

that's in a song on shakira's oral fixation volume two. she is a talented artist but i don't understand her when she sings in english! anyway the only reason i remembered that line is because my waist is 24-inches (i'm not kidding.)

and one more thought, but it could be a long one...

on my way back from argentina, between santiago and new york this guy was seated behind me who was involved in an animated conversation with his "seat buddy" (an older lady) and as i struggled to get my backpack he got it up there. anyway when we land in lima they give us twenty minutes to boludear at the airport. i go in desperate search of water (was a bit woozy from taking half a vicodin... yes i'm bad but i had a headache and i was upset because the azafata yelled at me!) but of course there was a bit of confusion because there was a security checkpoint and a long line in the middle but we had special passes... anyway it wasn't clear which way to go. but eventually i find my way to a gift shop and am contemplating buying "coca candy" but then i spot the water and have to get it. i also get skittles.

ok so long story short because i have to make my bed before i can sleep in it... we started talking and he said where are you from? i bet you're a midwestern girl. i replied with surprise and asked WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'M A MIDWESTERN GIRL? no, just for the accent. where you from? chicago. oh yeah, where? b-town hills. aaah... that's a pretty rich community. to which i just make a face and shrug my shoulders. i'm from sterling IL. and -small world it is- I'VE BEEN THERE! ONCE I WAS VOLUNTEERING AT A PRESENTATION BY MONTY ROBERTS - YOU KNOW, THE REAL-LIFE HORSE-WHISPERER! then the normal what do you do, where did you go to school. this guy was "a banker. i'm a wall-street guy." to which i replied with the same face and shrug as before. find out he went to U of I too! when did he graduate? 1994! WHOA! I WASN'T EVEN IN HIGH SCHOOL IN 1994! ok i know i should hold my tongue (after experiencing the shock of the polistas after i said what i thought) but i saved it because the guy did look young so i told him i thought he was at least ten years younger than as old as he could be.

we get back on the plane and i turn around.

me: let me clarify something. i did not go to U of I to study education. i knew so many people who studied education there because it was the easiest thing. no sir, i studied physics.

ah well that changes my perception of you entirely.

so that made me think: don't major in something just because it's easy because it's a waste of your time and your parents' money. no, i'm not doing anything with physics in and of itself, but the important thing about that major is IT TAUGHT ME HOW TO THINK. which is of infinitely more value than understanding bloom's taxonomy of something something. it's like once you know how to read in your native language, you know how to read, so you can read in any new language you learn because you have that base. once i know how to think and learn something that is interesting/challenging/familiar to me, i can think and learn about new things.

knowing how to think and how to learn is so much more important than what you learn. i think. today at 00:41.