don't call me

you know what i think is absolutely profane?

that music artists use so much profanity and sexual imagery in their "art"! in fact it's actually encouraged because we all know sex sells!


ok so that's not the whole of it:
it's quite profane that there is so much sex and sexualization and violence allowed in music and other media, but that what is not allowed is political criticism. (this in response to remembering something i read about that i think pearl jam got mad at producers of lollapalooza (sp, i know) for censoring a few of their lyrics that were critical of the president).

THAT is profane.

ick

so the rude pundit has posted a diatribe over what's going on with the senate. i don't want to go into details so you can read about it here

the "rude" description of his blog (and of this post) notwithstanding, i'd like to add to it: what if something terry schiavo-ish happens? will republicans do a flip-flop on the right to life issue?

ok, that's mean of me to suggest they would say "unplug the machines!" just to regain control of the senate (is this what's at stake?). but that was what came to my mind after thinking about this news.

profanities II

i just remembered a few more profane things:

politics


• i hate that the two parties are almost polar opposites.
  
  
• i hate that political discourse is at such a low level as it is now.
  
  
• i hate that one party is always trying to say they are "right" and "good" and that the other one is "wrong" and "bad."

• i hate that social issues take precedence over real issues; that politicians engage emotional responses from things like stem cell research or abortion rather than thoughtful debate on things that really matter (take that goddamn abortion debate for example - that elicits either anger or anxiety or whatever and if one is convinced one way or the other, he acts on that emotional impulse when he votes, if he shuts his ear off to everything else)


• i hate that questionable laws (ahem, s.3930) get rushed through congress only weeks before mid-term elections. i hate the finger pointing, the distortion of voting records (ie, richard tYrant accusing of bernie sanders of being a friend of child molesters)... i hate the general apathy as well.


• spin. party loyalty. the "are you a patriot or a loyalist" debate. profane is when a loyalist calls himself a patriot.


• i hate the current system as it is and it makes me sad that it seems one has to compromise his integrity in order to make a difference.

now that is off my chest. here are some others:

airport security

• it's profane that i can't buy a bottle of water in an airport (AFTER passing through security) and carry it on the plane - dehydration is a big issue with me (i have super-low blood pressure) and i don't like having to depend on the flight attendants to bring me water; i've encountered more annoyed attendants than obliging ones.


• i mean, can someone please explain to me why, if i have already gone through security and am awaiting my boarding call, i cannot bring a bottle of water on the plane? why why why? do they not screen their workers enough?


• it's also profane that most of the cargo carried on passenger jets that comes from "trusted" senders is not inspected while the rest of us have to undergo indignities such as having to TAKE OFF OUR FUCKING SHOES. i do not take my shoes off automatically. i try very hard to choose shoes/sandals/slippers that will arouse the least amount of suspicion because i do not want to walk semi-barefoot on an airport floor. ick. let 'em waste their time searching me.

also profane: TV shows
• when US producers copy a british comedy and it's retarded.
  
  
• case in point: coupling. remember? the british version is freaking hillarious. there was a US-produced version. oh, you don't remember? that's right because i don't think it made it very far past its pilot. it was re-goddamn-tarded.
  
  
• exception to the profanity: The Office. british version is funny, although sometimes i don't understand what people are saying. US-version cracks me up moreso than the british version - maybe because i've never worked in a british office and i've never used those funky paper sizes (like A4, etc.) but i HAVE worked in quite a few offices here, so i can relate.


• side note: i'm a little worried that "the office" will become more than a cult favorite and thence become stupid. some of the things they're doing this season just seem a little... hm... out there. amost "jumping the shark" out there (although happy days is before my time, i still know what that term means - thanks to Vh1)... the dead bird funeral pyre? i'm not sure i can relate to that.

it is also profane that

• in the US we have such thing as "plus-size"
  
  
• but there is no such thing as "minus-size." ah the perils of being model thin...

and it is profane that i have given this glorified list of complaints the name "profanities."

profanities

yesterday (and sunday evening on sixty minutes) i heard the guy who wrote the book... you know, the one where he says that evangelicals were called ridiculous behind their backs and stuff... talking and it made me think of one word: profanity.

it is profane that someone would hijack someone else's good intentions just to get more votes.

some other profanities:

- that it is less expensive to buy foods that were grown using man-made compounds (ie, hormone injections, pesticides, etc.) than it is to buy food that was grown in a way much closer to how such things were grown hundreds of years ago (ie, organically).

sure, when you don't use pesticides or herbicides to grow something, or when you don't inject your cows with hormones, maybe you don't get as high of a yield as a farmer who does. so that means the farmer who produces the above organically has less to sell and therefore less money which translates to a more expensive gallon of milk, right?

that's profane! it should cost less to buy things grown organically! besides, couldn't we figure out what to do about the bugs and weeds naturally? or use artificial selection to breed animals or plants that are naturally more resistant to bugs or whatnot?

it's also profane that beauty products made using the latest in chemical magic technology should cost less than those made the same way they were made thousands of years ago.

i'm not saying that it makes no business sense, i just hate that it is that way. i guess what i could do is grow everything myself or make my own shampoo and soap. but then i'd be less inclined to take regular showers.

i do have to say though, it's been months since i've made anytihng from a box (like mac&cheese or pasta-roni) so at least i know where the stuff i put on my pasta comes from.

i suppose.

i'm just going on and on here because i'm in a shitty-ass mood. and if you've ever had a shitty ass you know how i feel. iiich. bleeech.

it's one of those moods where i "don't feel like myself." i'm just angry. i'm yelling out windows at hummers that had the misfortune of being driven (and consequently parked) by a drunk-ass idiot who thinks it's ok to use two parking spaces.

and it's self-directed anger. i'm not angry at anyone or at anything in particular. i have no reason that i can see to be upset or depressed. and it's been a very long time since i've been this way.

it is profane that i have to decide between virtual castration (sertraline makes me as good as a blow-up-doll when it comes to desire) or THIS shit that i'm experiencing right now.

ok, i'll give it a few more weeks. but i'm getting a different shrink.

i need someone who can see through my bullshit; i'm afraid i can fake things too well or just spin her around by the words that come out of my mouth until she is disoriented and forgets what it was we were talking about before. i don't do it on purpose.

besides, i think i have many issues that are the bases for many other issues. i need a therapist who can get to the bottom of this.

i remember one of my very last "episodes" before seeking psychotropic help; i was up in my room sobbing (i don't remember why) and my mom came up to yell at talk to me. i don't remember everything she asked, maybe why are you so angry? why are you so snappy and irritable? what is causing you to be so angry??! and i remember asking/telling her: why can't you all just leave me alone? just let me disappear!

here's a good question: am i just a naturally mean and angry person and i use depression as an excuse for my behavior?

i don't think so; as i said before i haven't been like this for a very long time. i like to think i'm a very agreeable and loveable person when i am "myself."

but... WHO AM I?

fuck.

something to explore further: am i using this as an excuse for ridiculous behavior? i mean, i could be if i just chalk it up to depression and get on with my life without evaluating the irrationality of the behavior, but i always feel bad about it. maybe i just don't want to do the mental conditioning it takes to learn how to control myself.

and what a bad time to be depressed. i try not to think of the sun swallowing the earth some time in the future, but the situation here seems more and more hopeless every day. by "here" i mean in the US. but it's like, i can't go to another solar-like system to escape earth's eventual demise. likewise, i can't go to x country to escape it either ---- each day i'm becoming more and more fearful that the US (that's right bitches, United States of America), like the sun, will be the cause of this planet's and/or its civilisations' demise. there's no escaping it.



can you see the hopelessness in all this?!