lonely people

saw Alfie tonight. pardon me for being a girly-girl but JUDE LAW IS SO HOT. ok now that's out of my system. interesting movie - it brings up a question: do all players eventually turn around? i think the Lawyer (aka, ferris b.) may be like the protagonist of this movie... from my impression of him anyway. seems very lonely - maybe one of the lonliest people i know, without admitting it. i mean, maybe it's just me and my own little mental knots but it seems like if i were to give a damn about him it wouldn't matter. he seems to be of the breed that will accept love from a woman only when they want to accept it, and deny it any other time. maybe i've been overexposed to argentines. honestly, i cannot understand where love could come from in that country - the men all seem so distant. maybe because not one has been certifiably smitten with me. i mean, sure many (in all honesty i didn't conocer many - a lot i just went out with like two times) were smitten for a matter of two weeks or so - just enough time to really conocer them - their conquest once accomplished resulting in the end, always. this is why i don't believe in love, at least not in that country: how do people get there? if a girl puts out she's just good for a few weeks, and if she doesn't there is something fundamentally wrong with her and she can no longer be tolerated. i guess it happens when one comes to the realization that this kind of life is not fulfilling. being a player is pretty lonely. i've been distant in that way for a long time i think - it is why i was distant from my ex, i was afraid he too was an argentine player so i always kept myself one step away. that was the eventual cause of the end, but it was all well because being so distant all the time, i never got close enough to be hurt when it ended.

speaking of players.

i was scared out of my mind last friday.

here's what happened. i'm friends with one of the girls that works with my mom, and i hadn't invited her to the halloween party at my house, and even though my mom had told her about it she still wasn't going to come unless i had invited her personally. well, i was going to get her number last friday before i went out but i took too long getting ready and forgot in my rush to get downtown. so on my way there I called up my brother and asked him to look for it on the bulletin board in the kitchen. he gives me A number (not THE number), i write it down, and call it. nobody answers and there is no voicemail. i hang up. after forty more minutes or so (we're talking friday evening traffic into the city and i'm only at O'Hare) i arrive, find parking, and meet up with Ferris B. he needs to change so i am waiting in the lobby and my phone rings. it is a number i do not recognize. hello? it was a woman on the other end.
hola... con quien hablo?
and me, surprized con jennifer ...?
and she explains to me in spanish that this number was on her caller ID. I explain to her that i called it by mistake, sorry, bye.

but what must she have been thinking? how random of her to have a wrong number call her, and to call that number back and find someone who speaks spanish on the other end... poor woman must have thought i was her husband's lover or something. which reminds me of the player part of this story.

i was so scared to hear a woman speaking spanish on the other end because of Juan M. he is the argentine who was working in chicago who had tried to convince me that he was on business while his girlfriend (he had told me EX GIRLFRIEND) came to visit FROM ARGENTINA. i call, he sounds weird, hangs up, five mins later the girlfriend calls me and is very mean... she would call me three times more that night and the next, asking me every time how many times did you see each other? what did you do? where did you go? crazy lady. poor girl. poor juan - he sounded completely emasculated when they were trying to explain to me the situation (they were fighting and innocent I got caught in the middle) - he told me in an email that she had left him after that. HAHAHA. bastard. innocent Jenn who really did not intend for it to happen but it's better that it did!

so do players ever turn around? will my lawyer "friend" ever submit to the banal condition of being in love? i would have to know him better to be able to see if there is any hope for him. mind you i'm talking about hope for him, not for me.