report: monday morning

i have decided that i'm going to try to keep track of how i'm "feeling" so as to have something to discuss with my shrink (last time i didn't have much because i was still "being pursued" and felt that i had "power." that translates to "because miss e is getting boy attention she is just fine." well i am sure that argentine #885 is not going to call after thursday. i'm not really sure why; maybe it was some of the things we talked about (i let loose my little disclaimer - he must not be a legs and ass person.) or maybe he was mad that i ordered more food than i could eat. however, it was tapas, you're supposed to share them. so i ordered and he said he would eat but i think the only one he shared with me was the jamon serrano and queso manchego. imagine that, someone who is a pickier eater than myself!

too bad for him though; today at the s's house (where i am house-sitting) i discovered the bathroom in the master suite... it has it's own STEAM ROOM! not to mention a hot tub. wouldn't it have been nice to take advantage (wink, wink) of these amenities. oh well.

so this morning i am feeling ok. when i woke up, i didn't really want to be awake, but i didn't feel like staying in bed either. my dreams were happy - i actually woke myself up laughing. i was dreaming that i was in the yard with my family and a bunch of pets. there was this one grey and white kitten that was walking around. all of a sudden i see a small skunk run past my feet. it is like a squirrel that is actually a skunk. i scream and run away, but the kitten starts chasing it. it grabs the skunk by the tail and gets sprayed in the face. that is when i laughed and woke up. so i am not having just depressing dreams. this one for some reason was happy.

about my last comment - about how dating is so much easier on anti-depressants. i guess i still feel the emotional rejection but what i don't have that i always used to is the obsessive thoughts - the going back and forth about wether i should call him or not. neither do i have the overpowering anxiety that has usually accompanied my dating experiences. now i just need to wean myself of having my cell phone with me at all times should anyone call.

anyway so that's all for now.