the statue in the garden

i am proud
that i am capable of having sex like a man
but am afraid
that i might be made of stone
and unable to love
like a woman.

seriously, this is how my social life goes: doing next to nothing except bubble baths during four consecutive weeks, then making up for all of it in one night. which was last night, which included a party till 2am, lots of driving, a stop at a gas station for something other than gas, pain and desexcitacion on my part, as always, and about ten minutes of sleep.

i cried my first tears though in about three months over the doubts i have of ever being able to be in love.

at least being a teacher keeps me from turning into stone. otherwise i'd be a statue in my mother's garden. i wonder wether i would have wings???