add this to the list of things i have learned about myself:

i AM proud. i think i only ask for help in the most trivial and the most extreme circumstances. anywhere in the middle i do what i think i should.

and in my own defense:

1. the night before my observation we had to leave the building before 16:00, REMEMBER? i had no time to prepare!
2. i would have appreciated more than just positive feedback. you could have watched reading first, provided feedback, then FOLLOWED UP on it.
3. i also would have appreciated maybe a glance over my lesson plans from time to time to see if i am following the curriculum; you might have told me it was in the faculty handbook.
4. five months - that's it! i've heard it takes teachers FIVE YEARS to "get the hang of it."
5. if you're not going to recommend contract renewal for someone because they don't have the "background," don't hire them in the first place!
6. i am stealing those mathbooks of which i am so fond. stealing=making copies of.
7. and also copying everything in those binders.
8. and the phonics book.
9. good luck finding as good a bargain as me!
10. i hope you don't get in trouble for spending so much on us for professional development. that was like free education for me! thanks!

but i prefer not to get hung up on excuses. resistance is futile if it's to remain part of a program that is going down the tubes anyway.