creepy crawleys: double yikes.

i try to be a good inhabitant of this planet. and sure, one must recognise that three hundred million years is a long time, but come on, did
cockroaches invent the internet? did they make cars? did they even evolve the ability to recognise borax when they come upon it? no. clearly, humans are superior! so i feel no qualms about saying I HATE THESE FUCKING PRIMITIVE-ASS MONSTERS!

(side note: just recieved a text from boyfriend. phone was on vibrate. not only did i jump, but i let out a little scream as well. i am also suffering from a disgust-induced fever.)

though i wonder, which would prevail in making me the most uncomfortable and inspiring a certain affinity for multiple doses of excedrin-PM, these shitheads or a migraine? would i ignore my revulsion if i were in the grips of a migraine (an entirely different monster, but revolting nonetheless.)

i'll give the reader the short version (for the faint of heart) and if the reader thinks he can handle it he can click the "read more" icon for the illustrated version. basically a cockroach crawled attempted to crawl across the living room floor. but, by means of the above products, a steel nerve and an iron will*, i didn't let him get any farther than the coffee table.

and for some light reading, please check this out, esp. the part about killing rats. it will cheer one up if one is experiencing the same difficulties as i am.

now for my fellow* iron-willed cockroach-killers... click below to see the illustrated version...

*actually boyfriend gave the monster the final blow, er, spray of raid. then he flushed the bugger down the toilet.


but really, can you believe the AUDACITY of this muthafucka? to come out and CLIMB ON MY COFFEE TABLE in the godforsaken LIGHT OF DAY to torment me? i mean seriously, what was he out looking for? HE CAME OUT OF HIS HIDING SPOT TO DIIIIEEEEEE! [cockSUCKERS (my new word for these monsters) are nocturnal, right?]

fortunately, roach prufe came through to save the day! it looks kind of old school, and i had to search out an ace hardware (quite hard to come by in a land of lowes and home depots). seriously, the day i went out looking for this stuff, i first looked for it on the above mentioned behemouths' websites, just to see if they carried it. no. or i was looking for it in the wrong place. (aside: the trouble with mega-hardware-stores is that everything is in a category but neither of the mega-ones has a section for "pest control" or whatever) so what this piece of shit with six legs encountered was a heavy blue snow storm. i started out by just sprinkling the stuff on him, but he kept flipping around and moving (and yes, jumping and flapping his wings in vain attempts to fly). finally after blowing on him he ended up on his back (as in the picture above, left). but i wasn't going to merely *sprinkle* him with the blue magic...

instead, i put a bit of spit on the spoon, then mixed a little bit of the powder, and i let this concoction (i thought spit might make the stuff fizz. should'a tried vinegar. next time.) fall tantalizingly slowly onto his face. kind of like force-feeding someone bent on starvation. mmmmmmm!