this weekend we went to chicago. for a party on my dad's side of the family (there is an above average concentration of october birthdays, making such a party necessary); to see how much bigger my niece has grown; for a bonfire on my mom's side of the family (which was basically just us, as my aunt was suffering from a "boob infection".)
so in the past days and hours i have come to several realizations:
- maybe something in the southern air causes me to have an allergic reaction. i feel dizzy again today; at home i felt no such thing.
- the principal didn't set out to make life difficult for me; i imagine when asked for a reference she looked back in her files and found mine, with my (hastily-compiled and largely inaccurate and lacking insight) icky summative evaluation. that was all she had on me since we really didn't have that much face time after january. she's not evil; just not the best boss.
- i should just stop announcing parties held at my house on myspace. nobody ever comes to them. or maybe bonfires just aren't cool anymore. or maybe i'm too old to be using myspace.
- i need a third option; one is virtual castration (with sertraline), two is getting teary at the drop of a leaf and still not feeling like "myself," three is... well, three is an unknown. if i go back to zoloft i go back to feeling absolutely fine but like a dog without testicles. if i stay on welbutrin, i will continue to feek icky, with a constant threat of hopelessness on the horizon. i have to find a third option or be forced to make a serious sacrifice. hm.
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