keeping the waist tiny i guess

the number one topic of conversation in the teachers' lounge during lunch today was breast reduction surgery. ok, one lady who works in the front office has had it. one of the 5th grade teachers is getting it done. and this other lady's daughter is planning on getting it done over christmas break. what is the deal? making your boobs smaller is no cure for fat-assed-ness. i only say that because the lady at school who had it done is humongous. i'm being insensitive, like a man. why is this? because there is nothing i can do about my current status as no-fat-at-all-anywhere-ANYwhere. if i were to get fakes (like grandma Max did), they would look fake, even if they were small fakes! (in all actuality, i've never seen a small pair of fakes so i'd have to ask a plastic surgeon about that. however, fake boobs LOOK FAKE!) of course i'd have to go to a doctor who deals with people who have had mastectomies because if i were to see a for-profit plastic-surgeon-to-the-stars i would imagine him asking me, why do you only want to be a b? c'mon, let's try a C. or better yet, a D! i don't understand why you don't want huge boobs! i guess i'll just have to be satisfied with my waif-like appearance. actually, this is only when i am in my pjs or wearing a swimsuit (which is why i wear the itty-bitty-ist black string bikini that i can find). usually my defects are hidden by one of those wonderful things they sell at victoria's secret. i guess as long as i keep my ass firm and my waist tiny it'll be no big deal.