you are sleeping together, aren't you?

don't ever take for granted the ability to eat whatever you want.

i realized that this weekend. i would see people eating real food and my mouth would water. and then whine and moan that the only thing i could eat was pistacio flavored ice cream. so diva-ish. anyway now i am back to normal. no pain at all. and i am making ABSOLUTE SURE that i drink a lot of water and stay up at least a half hour after taking my meds. i wonder if after this fast i will experience a surge in weight? it would make no difference. i'd have to gain about twenty pounds before you'd see it on me.

as promised, assumptions. the other night in my dream appeared my california friend. well i'm not sure he himself appeared. but i dreamed that i had gone to visit him and his parents came to his place. for some reason i remember trying to hide myself by sitting on the ground in a corner of an empty room of his apartment as they scaled the stairs. then they made this comment like oh this is your special friend or something like that. i think it's kind of funny - in that oh that's interesting way - how people can assume things about what you have going on between yourself and another person. take when i was visiting another (male) friend three weeks ago. i stayed at his place. one of his room mates made a comment to me like be careful of this one, he's pretty popular. of course if i were in the room mate's position i'd also assume that the two people were sleeping together. i mean come on, when i'd go to visit my (now) ex in Cham-Bana, neither of us stayed on the couch. and then it happened again last weekend. i was at a party for one of my (male) chicago friends. a person whom i had met at an earlier party was there; at the previous party i had accompanied this male chicago friend and met this person, where he assumed we were together (questions such as so how did you two meet? made it somewhat obvious). so at the party last friday, although this male friend was making out (repeatedly) with another friend of mine, the assumption carried over from the previous party. we were getting ready to leave, and male chicago friend was wasted so he was staying there. the person i'd met at the other party asked me are you going to leave him? i confirmed. yeah, i'd leave him too like that! it's just funny... i don't really care what these people assume about me because - where am i? i'm here and i know what's going on. besides it doesn't really make me look bad either. or i don't think it makes me look bad because i'm not doing anything bad. ok, it doesn't make me look bad because I don't believe i'm doing anything bad and since i believe that most people believe what you tell them then... ok let's try this again - i don't care what they think as long as i'm OK myself. punto final.

what else was i going to say? other things but too involved for the amount of energy i have left and my desire to go upstairs and read (i am in the last three hundred pages of Anna Karenina - so close!)

topic next time: orgullosa, exigente, e introvertida.